enough of this palaver....

Farewell

2010-05-03T08:26:00.003-04:00

Well - it seems Facebook has won. I spend more time wasting time on FB and Twitter than I do here, so this will be my last musing on blogspot.

Thanks to my loyal readers (is anyone left?) and see you on Facebook...

Happy Anniversary...

2010-01-22T07:44:00.004-05:00

Well, I've been awake since 2:30am, and since I have nothing better to do, I figured I would write something here.

After what can best be described as the worst year of my life, I thought I would be able to close the book on lying awake in the early morning, wondering where everything went so wrong. I have come to the conclusion that despite it all, I am grateful for my marriage - for without it, I would not have quite so many people in my life that mean so much to me.

The people that became part of my family 14 years ago have blessed me in ways they can never understand. The 3 boys that are a direct result of my marriage mean everything to me. My daughter, who stuck with me through thick and thin - and sometimes got the worst of it from me - is still there with me and I love her more than ever.

As I wallowed in self-pity, I realized that I've really got everything, despite thinking that I'd lost everything. For that, I thank every one of you, and I love you all. You know who you are...

And in the end, what exactly DID I lose? Not much - certainly nothing worth lying awake over.

What do you think?

2010-01-10T12:10:00.002-05:00

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a proposal for a separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved celebrities, drugged-out rock stars, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, Ted Nugent fans and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and God and give you NBC and Hollywood.

We'll keep the Gulf Refineries, Texas, and Alaska, since you think fossil fuels are the scourge of the earth; and we'll drill in deep water as much as we please. You enjoy powering your cities with windmills.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security. YOU are on your own.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, Bhuddism, Atheism, Paganism, and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Prius and Smart Car you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is earned and not a stipend to be handed down or dictated. We'll keep Dixie,The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World. If you like country music, then you're welcome to keep the Dixie Chicks.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

As far as custody goes, we'll welcome anyone in your half that shares our beliefs and believes in rights to join us. Be warned, though, that we reserve the right to close our borders without apologies.

Would you agree to this?

Facebook will be the death of us all

2010-01-06T09:20:00.003-05:00

Wow - since I started using Facebook on every device imaginable, I have seriously neglected this blog. I can't imagine that Google is happy about that, but microblogging is more fun than maintaining this, twitter, facebook, linkedin, and whatever other crap I have forgotten about.

I suppose it's time to start to "pick one" and go with it. But - here's the rationale for all of this:

Facebook: Just fun. I have run into people I hadn't seen in decades on FB. I don't farm, mafia or balloonwars or whatever else. No one but my friends can see my crap. It's my KIT tool... Also runs on my Blackberry and iPhone.

LinkedIn: My professional connections - but really not so much any more. Facebook has sort of supplanted this - IDK if that's good or bad...

Twitter: This keeps my rants and raves during races and Longhorns football games off of Facebook. You don't want to know how many times I run out of API calls during these events. By the way - I am "bevo_fan" on Twitter, and am at present open to all...

Blogger: Well, this blog was created here, and is stored here - but is ALSO on Facebook.

The question begs: Do I need Blogger or LinkedIn? I could argue that without my constant updates and new data, Google my revoke my gmail, latitude and voice accounts, but I'm pretty sure they won't. I'm just not that interesting.

How much of your life is online? Which of these idiotic time wasters do you use?

So you wanna drive a race car....

2009-12-12T07:52:00.005-05:00

Danica Patrick. Wow. Hot. Sweet.

I am not sure about the whole "I wanna drive a race car" thing though. I have a lot of respect for her. She is a talented driver. In an Indy car. Here's the thing...

She drives a 1500 pound car that generates 5,000 pounds of downforce. It's built to stick to anything it goes fast on. Itty bitty (dare I say cute?) steering wheel, unreal handling. Not that anyone can drive it - it definitely takes skill I don't have, BUT-

Now, put her in a rolling brick. No discipline, not designed (per se) to stick to anything. Think of it like this: Walk down a flight of stairs in summer with that sandpaper stuff on it wearing brand new running shoes. Now - walk down the same flight of stairs in 20 degrees with 2" of solid ice on them, no handrail - wearing 6" pumps. I've never worn 6" pumps - and I wouldn't try.

Some of the best in the business say that you should pick one series or the other. Juan Pablo Montoya is a rock star in both cars - but not at the same time.

I am not hating... I hope she turns into a rock star for NASCAR. The sport could use some more drive, raw determination, and some one who HATES second place. It wouldn't be terrible to see her in Victory Lane. Imagine what the interviews would be like... Sorry Alan Bestwick, but Danica needs to be interviewed by Jamie Little - every time. I think I love THAT scenario...

Best of luck Danica. I hope you make it down those stairs. That 5 car slot will be waiting for you - after Mark's championship...
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Stuff, Jimmie Johnson and more stuff

2009-10-23T08:25:00.006-04:00

People think I have fallen off the face of the planet. It hasn't been that long has it? It's been a busy month.

1. Travel: Lots of it this month. I went to VA for work - caught up with a former colleague - good to see you ! Not much else to report on that trip... Seeing CM was the highlight.

2. NASCAR: I took the boys to Charlotte the week before the race, and we met Jimmie Johnson. I am not normally star struck, nor am I normally one to do such a thing (fan events and such), but this time it was for the boys. The twins are big time HMS fans. Not so much Dale Jr (as most are), but Jimmie and Jeff.

The first day, we went to the HMS Museum and store. (Pics are on Facebook. If you're my friend, you can see them.) The boys were completely blown away by the "real race cars" they got to see up close. My oldest son has been a 24 fan forever, and was amazed by seeing the "Rainbow Warrior" era cars from Jeff's championships.

Day two, and I think the boys were so fired up that I was afraid they would wake up all of Concord. It didn't help that it had rained the entire day before, but suffice it to say, any fears I had that they may not enjoy this were allayed. We went to HMS, the boys had an awesome time, and it really went by way too quickly. The highlight was during Q&A when Alex (6 y/o) mustered up the courage to ask Jimmie (on microphone):

"Hi Jimmie. I am um.... (pause because he heard his voice on the speakers and I think it freaked him out a little) ...Alex from Georgia. I want to know if you and Jeff Gordon are still best friends."

The room exploded with laughter and cheers / applause. Jimmie said that was the best question of the day - and by the way said "yes they are". We also heard some very insider stuff t that I won't repeat here.

That day was a TON of fun, and the boys are still talking about the day they met Jimmie Johnson. It really is people like this, and fan focus like this that makes NASCAR what it is. Before the redneck comments come piling in - keep in mind, it is arguably the biggest sport in America (based on attendance and TV). So, if it's a redneck sport, and the biggest sport, does that make us all rednecks?

3. Milestones: My mom and step-father reach their 25th in November. Quite an accomplishment I must say. I have little confidence that I will reach it, based on my most recent experiences, but to them, I lift a glass. Congratulations Mom and John.

Another milestone: I am 43 years old today. Big freaking deal... :) The milestone part is that I have lost 50 pounds since February, and although I have reached a plateau of sorts, now weigh less than I did 20 years ago. I feel great, my life is coming back together after a rather disastrous year, and I can again see the light at the end of the tunnel. Let's just hope it's not the proverbial train...

finis.

Racing and such

2009-09-13T09:29:00.003-04:00

Wow... what a season.

Now that we're in the Chase, it always amazes me how things play out. Who would have thought:

1. Petty would be fielding a FORD (has to be the biggest news)

2. A driver with 4 wins doesn't make the Chase (some would call that karma)

3. It's ALREADY time for the Chase

My prediction is that it'll be a NSC Championship Dark Horse. Maybe Vickers - maybe Montoya. My HOPE - in order- is that it's (1) Jimmie Johnson - obviously; (2) Martin - he definitely deserves it; (3) Gordon - have to keep my love for HMS intact; (4) Tony - would love to see this one as a brand new team if it can't be one of my top 3.

Time will tell. It should be a VERY exciting Chase.

finis.

Remember

2009-09-11T08:56:00.002-04:00

Wow. 8 years... Seems like just minutes ago...

I didn't know Barbara well, but I had seen her in office from time to time. I think I had met her several times as a Tandem customer as well in a prior "life". I knew her to be a very pleasant person, very smart, and outgoing. I later found out that she lived not far from my cousin in NJ. She was setting up for a technical event at Windows on the World - just doing her job.

I knew Jeff only from conference calls related to our annual technical event, which kicked off on September 10 in Anaheim. Jeff was one of the presenters at the event. He was one of our IT Security experts. Jeff was on Flight 11 on his way to LAX - just doing his job.

When we got out of bed at 6am in Anaheim, my wife called the front desk to see if a package had arrived that she was expecting. It took forever for them to answer the phone, and when they did it was with "We don't have any information on what's going on....". Of course, everyone now knows what went on that horrible day.

As many twists and turns as my life has taken since 9/11/01, I am still overwhelmed with sadness when I think about these two people that I only knew from work - and even then - barely. During the normal course of their lives, these and 2800 others were suddenly taken from us. I would venture a guess that not one of the people who died had a "beef" with any radical group from any religion. Not one of them expected to give the greatest sacrifice of all - just by living their lives.

I am in deep admiration to those who serve our Country in an effort to keep us safe. From the miserable TSA employee who sometimes forgets how vital they are - to the Marine overseas in battle - thank you to all of you.

Never forget.

the game

2009-08-31T16:29:00.001-04:00

Well, my playing the game by the pre-agreed-upon (is that a word?) rules doesn't seem to be working. So, now I play the way I get played. Sounds reasonable, right?

I think so. More to come...

Cry Havoc! and let slip the dogs of war....

greatness pursued

2009-08-17T11:01:00.005-04:00

I am continuing my quest for personal greatness. I doubt I will ever get there (just ask my ~~manipulative, lying, exploitative~~ ex-wife - she'll be happy to fill you in on all my faults)....

Despite all the loathing going on in that messed up head of hers, I am pretty gawrsh durned proud of myself. I have accomplished a few major milestones in the past few months. Shall we recap?

1. Lost 47 pounds to date (that number varies - depending on whether I go to visit Alabama or not - the food's just too good NOT to eat)

2. Took a vacation with the boys. Just me, my parents - and my boys. It was kick ass awesome.

3. Trying out a new attitude towards things that annoy me. I'm trying to just not get annoyed at things I cannot affect. Those things I can affect - I do.

4. Spent WAY WAY WAY too much money on a new truck and camper. Nothing new there... but boy is the new truck nice... :)

So, some key things that further my quest for personal greatness. I recognize that I will probably never achieve "personal greatness" but boy does it feel good so far - and having a goal to it - is even better.

(NOTE: For those following this on Facebook, I encourage you to read this note on http://cnbenn.blogspot.com. You'll note that the bad words I said about my ex are stricken through. It's a joke - or is it..... mwahahahaha)

the simple life

2009-08-11T17:09:00.002-04:00

Boy do I yearn for a much simpler life. I am single at 42, weigh less than I did at 30 (that's a VERY good thing), and am spending money like a - well - I don't know what. I have always spent a lot of money, but more within the last two months than I ever have.

Whatever. I didn't choose this, and much of my spend has been out of sheer necessity, since I had to start everything over as my ~~marriage~~ sham ended. She lied and cheated - I died a little. Believe me - it's devastating.

Anyway, as things begin normalizing once again, I find myself at the mercy of my newly created reality - and most times, don't really like it. I want simple back. Is that too much?

Wow!

2009-08-09T20:50:00.004-04:00

So, the "last PC standing" no longer stands. The PC's that the boys use when they come here were ancient to say the least, and one (an old Evo 5000) died today.

I went to Fry's to price out a replacement CPU. I was ok with a 1.6gb Atom based machine - just wanted something so that the 3 boys wouldn't fight. Well, the cheapest one was an eMachines, and for just a little more, HP had a Compaq something or other with a 2gb CPU, 160gb HDD and 2gb RAM, 15.6" HD display. $330 later, I had a brand new laptop. Unbelievable.

Well, despite being a great value, this thing won't make its' restore DVD's to save its' life, and I cannot imagine I will get very good technical support for $330.

Think I made a mistake? I'll let you know...

Epilogue - After creating six coasters, the Restore DVD's are safely burned. I am pretty ok with this machine so far... not impressed, but not disappointed either.

Houston... we have a visitor

2009-08-05T21:43:00.002-04:00

Well, I have been back in Houston all week - for the first time in 6 years. It is really good to see old friends... better to be back "home" in Texas. I really felt like I was coming home.

I have had so many changes in my life lately that I doubt moving to Texas would be a good thing - especially with my boys being in Georgia. Maybe in time I will get back to where I belong.

Just a quickie...

back in the frack

2009-07-12T22:41:00.005-04:00

Well, for those of you who watch NASCAR (and for those who don't), I am so totally fracking fed up with the coddling that France & co. are giving these Busch bitches. They whine and cry when it's not them pushing someone out of the way, and when they use their car as a weapon (as Kurt did last night) - still whine about it.

Last night, Jimmie Johnson was leading the race with 14 to go. Denny Hamlin pushed Johnson out of the way, which set the 48 car back to the inside of Busch (2) and outside of Gordon (24). Basically, Johnson became a loose sandwich - and was pushed up the track into the 2 car. Kurt Busch retaliated by door slamming Johnson - at full speed.

NASCAR did and said nothing - or if they have done or said something - they haven't published it. Busch later suggested this was direct retaliation to a wreck at Sonoma involving the 2 and 48 cars. Denny Hamlin suggested the same - that he pushed the 48 out of the way in retaliation for something that had happened between the 11 and 48 earlier.

If these two low lifes want to race that way, they need to find another venue. I, for one, am tired of Kurt, Kyle (and now Denny) whining about losses or setbacks - and being the "best driver(s) that ever lived" when they excel.

The empty seats are not all attributable to the economy, I would suspect. Hey NASCAR - is it possible that your overbearing rules and favoritism are pushing long time fans out of the way?

http://bit.ly/8wfvo

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last one standing...

2009-06-12T19:39:00.004-04:00

Well, I did it. I bought a Ford today. I have been increasingly worried about whether the Obamunists were going to guarantee my extended warranty on the Denali, so I relied on Obamalogic and decided that since I am "rich" and have "hit life's lottery"; and work for a living - probably not.

So - I started looking around to see if there were deals to be had. GM said "sorry - your truck isn't worth 1/3 of what we soaked you for 18 months ago". Any wonder why they're in the sh*t? Ford, on the other hand, said "let's see what we can do". Ironic - the one company that didn't reach into my pocket overtly via a federal proxy was the only one willing to sell me a vehicle. Does it really take an entire federal government to figure out what's wrong here?

Well, the incentives, combined with my company's partnership with Ford, combined with an aggressive dealer - it all came together, and I now have a brand spankin' new redneck wet dream.

I am absolutely astonished at the fit & finish - ride quality and overall just niceness of this vehicle. It doesn't have the ride quality of the Denali - but will tow a house...

I will let you know (for those who are still reading) how it goes... For me - I truly hope Fiat dismantles that piece of crap they just bought, and GM can reinvent anything they want - but a bad business model will STILL be a bad business model.
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Fun

2009-05-24T07:44:00.004-04:00

The boys and I went to the World of Coca-Cola on Saturday. I have been there once before, but don't remember it being so much fun. This was their first time, and they absolutely loved it! Here are some pics:

spooling the FTL drive...

2009-05-21T18:52:00.004-04:00

Well, here I am - almost a month since my last post. Boy have I become a non-posting dolt.

I suppose it should be made official. For those of you who don't already know, the wife & I are no longer the wife & I. It's done. kaput. over. I hate it, but a pattern has emerged - and that's all I will say.

So, I did what any rational middle aged fatso would do. I went on a diet, lost 25# (several more tons to go); almost bought my dream car (2010 Porsche 911 GT3); and spent a week with my mommy.

By the way, I have contributed $45 to J.J. Abrams' retirement fund by seeing Star Trek - 3 times. It is by far the best movie I have seen in a LONG time - and among my top 5 all-time fav's. Go see it - and if you can - on an IMAX screen. It gets 15 out of a possible 10 from me. If movies received Michelin stars - this one gets one.

Anyway, you're up to speed on my miserable existence. How's yours?

do you blu? and more - including must TiVO tv

2009-04-28T20:52:00.007-04:00

It's been a while, so I will comment on a few things...

1. Do you blu? If you don't - do. Especially if you are fortunate enough to have 1080p goodness on your 70 inch LED TV. Blu-Ray is much more even than the VHS to DVD changes. Not only is it more expensive, thereby propping up the Obamunists' economy, it looks great too! Fun! One tip... some regular DVD's look just as good on Blu-Ray as the Blu-Ray disks do. Check http://www.blu-ray.com/movies if you're not sure.

2. I don't usually link others' blogs, but this is better than outright plagiarism... http://esgblogs.typepad.com/steves_it_rants/2009/04/cow-economic-models.html
Funny...

3. Baseball... lots of my time is taken by baseball with the boys. So far, C's team is 3-2 against some very good teams (for 9 year olds), and the twins are 5-0 (yay!).

4. Mixed reviews for me on Caprica... Good movie once it got started - but boy did it take a while to get rolling. Lots of unanswered questions - doesn't seem like the timelines make sense yet, but we'll see...

5. TiVO must-record TV: Now that BSG is gone, here's the new list:
#1... The Big Bang Theory
#2... 24 (still)
#3... Chuck
#4... The Tudors (Showtime)
#5... Deadliest Catch

That's it or now... more to come later.
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March 24????

2009-04-09T19:52:00.002-04:00

Wow... it's been since the 24th since I have written my last bit of drivel.

Unfortunately, for those of you looking for words of wisdom, keep looking - you'll find no such nonsense here.

SO... nothing has happened. The usual 150MPH work, kids' baseball, TV and such. I am kind of disappointed in 24 this year. It's OK - not great like it's been in the past.

Well - that's it for now. Hopefully my writers' block goes away soon. If not, it may be high time to shut the ol' blog down.

the best frakkin show ever

2009-03-24T09:39:00.004-04:00

Well, now that it's over, I have to say - I really enjoyed the 4 years of BSG (redux). There were clearly some standout story lines and episodes, and some that didn't appeal to me much, but overall, I have to say that I loved this show.

If you haven't seen it, know this: you don't have to be a sci-fi fan to watch it. It doesn't hurt, but also requires no preconceived notions about science fiction, or any other genre (soap opera, melodrama, etc) - since it contains all of these elements. Think Desparate Housewives (Gaius' harem) meets Law & Order (the Adama clan among others) meets Star Trek - with a few groundbreaking twists and its' own style every season.

There are a total of four seasons - so lots to watch. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do! Now - where's the frakking blu-ray???

I have the ball - now what????

2009-03-23T09:55:00.003-04:00

Baseball is in the air, and the boys are embracing it with gusto...

There's nothing more fun to watch than two 5 year old teams playing baseball. It is coach pitch, and after three "strikes", they get the tee. Once the ball is hit, the team on the field will scramble to get it, and once they have the ball, hold it until the coaches tell them where to throw it.

It's hard to explain, but if you ever have an hour to kill - it's a fun watch.

C's team (9 year old - team pitch) won on Friday, 12-8
Twins' team won Saturday, 10-9

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last man standing...

2009-03-22T15:56:00.001-04:00

Well, it appears that as the duff goes, there go the duffco blog rolls... Looks like I may be the last :(

Tyler is too busy building his fight club room and having babies and such. Ed is just plain busy. Kevin has moved on to other more exciting endeavors. Andy - well, I think Andy updates occasionally...

Should I stop?

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Simianus En Obscurus

2009-03-18T15:27:00.004-04:00

The Will Farrel George W. Bush parody on HBO is NOT TO BE MISSED. I was rolling on the monkeys part... "Spear gun attacks along the I-95 corridor went up 1000 percent!!"

Don't miss this one...

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
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can't wait 'till Monday (????!!!!)

2009-03-14T17:09:00.006-04:00

Well, Monday is a day away, and we're fixing to hear about how the game is gonna change. California is finally going to be announced, and hopefully, we'll get some details on just what the printer boys and girls are so afraid of.

You know, there was SO much discussion and skepticism when Cisco begat Andiamo begat Cisco MDS, and look at them now. There is no more cohesive strategy in DCOF networking than Nexus. Cisco's message: Use what you have, build in the future. Their primary competitor's in the SAN space: Buy a new chassis because it's the future and has investment prot-oh wait, here's a new chassis. Forget what we said the three prior times..... and on and on..... In fact, their competitors are so scared that they bought an IP switch vendor, and proceeded to do nothing with them. I can't say I am surprised, but since they are technically partners, I will leave it at that. Of course, this is nothing more than my speculation, and after all - I am nobody...

I am happy to see this turn of events, and I think it only solidifies the unified & virtualized data center of the future, and look forward to learning more.

Let's just hope Cisco stays smart and doesn't buy some pig like 3Par with all that cash. Could you imagine Marc Farley working for CSCO? Oof...

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toner cartridge smackdown!

2009-03-13T16:48:00.005-04:00

Holy schnikes... someone's on a war path...

Mark Hurd makes the cover of Fortune, extolling the virtues of "not laying off" and "investing for the future during a downturn" when just 3 weeks ago, they announced 4q results, and the elimination of something like 9,000 jobs. Boy - is that more of the same for those people left there or what??

Since IBM is still trying to find itself among its' 25 million employees, it looks like there's yet another big time company fixing to mount a serious attack against the ink cartridge fillers, I am more than delighted to see this:

http://blogs.cisco.com/datacenter/comments/building_a_better_blade_server_-_network_style/

My favorite part was "Some companies want to own everything - they want to sell you ink, services, toner, people, switches, servers, cables, people, storage, printers, monitors, proprietary Unix, people, gaming machines, photo printing, people, calculators and even paper (did I mention people…)." I couldn't have said, thought or done this ANY better than Doug Gourlay...

Well in lads! Sign me up! I only hope my company plays a key role in creating havoc there...

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.....

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ipod rocks

2009-03-08T22:06:00.003-04:00

By the way - the iPod Touch is AMAZING! I got a few games for my recent trip to California (commercials DO work!) and they work EXACTLY like the commercial. Some were harder to use than others, but wow - fun and awesomeness!

a collection of tales...

2009-03-08T21:54:00.005-04:00

Well - it's been a bit, so here are a couple of things that are consuming space within my grey matter:

1. The trouble with trouble - is that it never works out. T.O. came with so much promise and talent, however, like many other professional athletes, never learned the meaning of 'team'. So - farewell. We're better off without you - since you never really produced anyway. Methinks his best is behind him, but time shall tell...

2. The trouble with knowing... is UGH. I have been tracking my foods, etc. to see exactly what it is about what I eat that is bad. What I am finding out, is that through (1) knowing - and by extension modifying what I eat, and (2) exercise (and very little of it - but a little is better than none), and (3) eliminating the garlic mashed potatoes of lore, I can actually lose weight! The graph below should be enough to make any nutritionist shudder...
Since I don't drink (at all), the Alcohol part is easy, but holy schnikes... look at those carbs! It's REALLY hard to maintain 40/40/20 (protein/carb/fat).

3. Calfornia... how I loved thee... but it was GREAT to get home. I enjoy visiting - but the best part was seeing old friends (and making new ones). It's good to be home. By the way - it rained all but one day, so bleh.

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the internets beseech you....

2009-02-28T17:46:00.004-05:00

For those of you who don't think the Internet is a useful tool, I give thee FaceBook.

I thought I would never use something like FaceBook, since I am not 12. But then again, I never thought SMS texting would be useful to me either, and I rack up somewhere between 100 and ten million texts a month, depending on the chattiness of my moods.

I have found people that I think about alot - and haven't seen in decades... yes - decades. It's really pretty cool to "find" these people again and rekindle lots of old, and perhaps repressed memories. A word to the wise: ONLY allow your friends to view you and yours. The defaults for privacy on FB are somewhat lax, so know who can and who can't see you. When in doubt - deny.

If you don't Face - you should.

the perils of travel

2009-02-26T16:10:00.004-05:00

Imagine a scenario where you visit one of the largest airports in the country and you can't get WiFi. - IAD... that airport SUCKS

Imagine that same scenario where you visit a somewhat upscale hotel and the lights don't work. In addition, the front desk clerk is a bitch, breakfast buffets are $22 and the water makes you sick. - Mclean VA Hilton

Imagine a rental car whose tires are so worn that every unintentional (yeah right) press of the accelerator results in a burnout that leaves a smoke screen any NASCAR victor would be proud of. - National Rental Toyota Avalon - on second thought - that was kind of fun.

The food, by the way, at The Source (http://www.wolfgangpuck.com/restaurants/finedining/the%20source/dc/index.php) was THE BEST I have ever had in a restaurant. Bar NONE.

.

A great read

2009-02-22T10:31:00.003-05:00

I just finished reading an "Insanely Great" book on the birth of the Mac. For those of you who know me, I am a big time Mac fan, (fanboy? no - sounds too um.... non-compliant - how's that?). I don't have a clue how I missed this book when it came out but let me tell you - if you want to know what happened in Silicon Valley in the late 70's to mid 80's - read this book.

The guys who pioneered the industry that I thrive in today are unbelievable, and I can't imagine what my career would have been if not for them. Obviously not directly, but you really do have to respect what they did - and against the likes of Microsoft.

If you're a technologist - it is definitely worth the read.

Title: Revolution in the Valley: The Insanely Great Story of How the Mac Was Made.
Author: Andy Hertzfeld

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February RULES

2009-02-10T09:57:00.001-05:00

10am February 10, 2009

Moving to Pennsylvania.. from a friend

2009-02-05T09:19:00.003-05:00

Thanks to FB for this... it's SO appropriate... ** Warning - Rated R **

AUG 12
Moved to our new home in Pennsylvania. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. I love it here.

OCT 14
Pennsylvania is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful, certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This must be Paradise. I love it here.

NOV 11
Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

DEC 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and when the snow-plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Pennsylvania.

DEC 12
More snow last night. I love it. The snow-plow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.

DEC 19
More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Fraking snow-plow.

DEC 22
More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I thing the snow-plow hides around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Nice!

DEC 25
Merry Fraking Christmas! More friggen snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow-plow, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the fraking ice.

DEC 27
More white crap last night. Been inside for three days except for shoveling out the driveway after that snow-plow goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, car's stuck in a mountain of white crap. The weatherman says to expect another 10" of the stuff again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10" is?

DEC 28
The fraking weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of that white shit this time. At this rate it won't melt before next summer. The snow-plow got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already shoveling all the shit he pushed into my driveway, I broke my last one over his fraking head.

JAN 4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those fraking beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

MAY 3
Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out from that fraking salt they put all over the road?

MAY 10
Moved to Georgia. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that God-forsaken state of Pennsylvania.

SIRIUSly bad....

2009-02-04T16:30:00.005-05:00

So I sent an online form based email outlining my aforementioned frustration w/ XM Customer service. Here's EXACTLY what they sent me back:

"XM is proud to announce our exciting new lineup. Along with your favorites, we have added new channels, shows, legendary DJ's and celebrity hosts, giving you more of what you love about satellite radio. You'll get 69 commercial-free music channels covering all genres of music, including new channels like Bruce Springsteen's E Street Radio, the Grateful Dead Channel, Elvis Radio, Jimmy Buffett's Radio Margaritaville, Siriusly Sinatra, Metropolitan Opera Radio, Eminem's Shade 45, Jam On, Little Steven's Underground Garage and more. Plus, you'll also get new personalities and exclusive shows like Barabara Walters, Chris Mad Dog Russo and Jeff Foxworthy. And, even more entertainment including Doctor Radio, Blue Collar Radio and the Foxxhole.

Everything you need to know about the new lineup is online at www.xmradio.com/newlineup. Download the new channel guide and keep it by your radio. With all of the new programming and personalities, Everything Worth Listening To is Now on XM."

Lovely. Here's what I would write if I ran things there:

Dear Mr. Palaver,

We are sorry that our poorly trained newly outsourced people don't know how to deliver excellent customer service. Let's face it, I didn't buy XM to interact with customers, it was just cheaper than launching new birds and trying to organically grow our business through creative and compelling programming.

According to our records, you rarely listen to anything but Opie and Anthony, and for now, you can see them (for less money) on PalTalk. May I suggest trying that for entertainment? Since you clearly don't like us, why don't you spend your money elsewhere?

Sincerely certain I don't need YOUR money,

Mel Karmazin
Chairman of the Board (or whatever)
Sirius-XM

By the way, take your two radio account and frak off. You're not THAT important.

.

oh the byegone days of customer service.....

2009-02-04T15:08:00.005-05:00

30, 40, 18, 22

That is the amount of time (in minutes) that I have been on hold this afternoon - trying to get XM Radio to remove one radio from my account. These asswipe mother frakers have completely lost the idea of customer service. As bad as they were BEFORE Sirius - it's 100 times worse now.

Keep in mind, all I want to do is remove one of two radios that are on my account (for reasons that some of you know - others don't need to know). So, here's the workflow for performing such a task:

1. Call 1-800-XMRADIO
2. On hold for between 5 minutes and 20 minutes while listening to XM78 - lovely jazz...
3. Talk to some barely english speaking foreigner and explain all of the above.
4. Barely english speaking person explains that they have to transfer you to another department.
5. Explain that you have been transferred (insert number here) times before, and you would like to have this seemingly simple task performed - can they not do it?
6. Hold for between 18 and 40 minutes- while listening to XM78 - lovely jazz...
7. Some other non-english as a native language person MAY answer and you will be disconnected, or your call will simply just drop.
8. Go to Step 1.

Lather, rinse, repeat. I could do this all day long, but I am afraid I would break something. Let's try email.....

By the way, back when Sirius proposed their buyout of XM, all of the opponents and pudits said that this scenario was EXACTLY what would happen. Go figure...

I will keep you posted....

hp sucks... the Empire Strikes Back

2009-01-26T09:48:00.004-05:00

EPILOGUE...

I took the printer back to Fry's and they agreed to exchange it. I also mentioned that I saw the same printer at Office Depot for $80 less than Fry's sold it to me for. The customer service manager summoned some hot russian chick to call Office Depot to confirm....

After about 15 minutes of hot chick on the phone action, I got an $80 refund. She didn't share my enthusiasm for her hotness OR the refund. Wonder why?

BONUS !
.

hp sucks

2009-01-24T20:16:00.001-05:00

I bought a printer from the Printer Company... because that's what they do right? WRONG.

What a piece of shit. it was missing frakking parts - and anything fed into the scanner got eaten. Nice. All that money for vx-linux and you can't even build a printer???? =)

Arizona Cardinals MVP named....

2009-01-18T18:42:00.003-05:00

In case you were wondering...

2009-01-18T18:20:00.004-05:00

I pressed "publish" just as the Cardinals intercepted on the Music City Miracle play... The only concession I will make is good job 'till now. Now, if you're smart, get rid of fatso and mcstupid.

Now there's going to be 50,000 third world kids wearing "Philadelphia Eagles NFC Champion 2009" t-shirts. A suitable end....

E-A-G-L-e- OH HELL...

2009-01-18T18:10:00.003-05:00

Oh well. I TOLD YOU. McNabb had SO MANY opportunities. SO MANY missed, underthrown, overthrown -- he SUCKS. It kills me that he makes so much more money than me.

Not even the Eagles deserve this idiot. How do you get stomped by the Cardinals? YOU SUCK.

Last game as an Eagle. How does it feel McStupid?

Does anyone disagree that McStupid and fatso have to go? Anyone? Don't hide under cover of "Anonymous" either...

By the way - if it's the Cardinals and the Steelers and Springsteen - do you think they'll just cancel the Super Bowl and apologize?

how can you stand it?

2009-01-11T19:39:00.007-05:00

OK - I will give props. The Eagles kicked ass. Donovan however.... What kind of professional athlete walks onto the other teams' sideline when they have clearly lost the game and mocks them like that? I would have LOVED to see one of the Giants take that phone and slam it up the side of his stupid dopey ass head. Even you die hard Eagles fans have to admit that this idiot is making you all look bad.

Now, I hope you go to the Super Bowl and someone gives McNabb the sniffles before the game. That pussy will fall apart faster than I would on the field.

Plaxico Burrus should have shot HIM. Ass.

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back to

2009-01-08T10:06:00.002-05:00

Well, it's back to the grind. The usual stories have picked up right where they left off.

First, the Cowboys sucked when they needed to be brilliant, the Eagles were OK when they needed to suck (you'll never get brilliant out of me on the Eagles)...

Second, that DAMN DOG. Gawd - when will I ever learn? I am NOT a dog person. This fracking spawn of satan has done the following in the past two days:

- thrown up about 60 pounds of dog food all over the downstairs
- peed in three different places inside - and he has NEVER done that before
- ate an entire freshly baked apple pie last night

And now, my oldest son hates me because I got angry at this demon seed. Now what do I do? It's lose lose lose.

Oh well, I guess it could be worse. Tyler Durden sounds like he's having a fight club with his kitchen.

Happy Fracking New Year.

still a non-believer

2009-01-05T07:48:00.003-05:00

Phillies win. Eagles beat the Vikings. No way this goes all the way. I will say, however, that I am beginning to think that the Eagles deserve it. They are fighting all the way.

My 'boys are watching from their home theaters, and the birds are going up against the Giants. That one will be hard to watch. I rooted for the Vikings, because with them, I couldn't care less. I can't root for either team in the Divisional now - I hate them both.

What's one to do? For the sake of my friends, good luck next week.

As I eat my humble pie...

2008-12-29T08:57:00.003-05:00

... I sit in awe (NOT admiration) of the machine that bulldozed the 'boys yesterday - still refusing to believe that this is the Eagles. Perhaps awe is the wrong word. Shell-shocked is better... Rejoice heartily my oft-dissapointed friends, for Minnesota will be much tougher.

Obviously, someone forgot to remind Wade & co. that there was a football game scheduled for Sunday, and that it was somewhat important. Makes me wonder if the Eagles have finally found what they need. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA... who am I kidding? Fat Andy will be crying about how "it's all on me" next Sunday night. I can see it now. The Philly fans have already started crowing about how it's going to be a 2 championship year.

Now for the part where I hope the Eagles fail. Donovan is an ass. It should be enough for that dopey short bus riding asswipe that the Eagles produced a vastly superior product yesterday. I didn't need to see that idiot dancing on the sidelines, much less mocking the Cowboys' 2nd string QB for calling a time out. I hope that arrogance breaks you in ways that will stay with you for the rest of your life. You really don't have anything whatsoever to be proud of after the completely unpredictable roller coaster that you have put your fans through since becoming #5. Need I remind you of the super bowl tummy ache you pussy?

I feel better now. Back to my depression...

Merry Frackin Christmas

2008-12-24T10:49:00.003-05:00

Need I say more?

I am up north where everyone is fracking MISERABLE, ignorant and otherwise self absorbed. What is wrong with people?

Am I the only one on earth that's perfect?

Merry Christmas... I mean it. The above was just a joke.

The Palavers being Elfish

2008-12-03T07:56:00.002-05:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

BOYCOTT the bowls

2008-12-02T16:52:00.005-05:00

The BCS has finally done it. Texas beats Oklahoma in a head to head match, and is SECOND in the B12 South??? WHAT THE FRACK?

Let's consider the (obviously irrelevant) facts: 1. Texas beat Oklahoma 2. Texas Tech beat Texas 3. Oklahoma beat Texas Tech 4. Texas finished the B12 South ahead of Tech - ERGO - Texas wins the Big 12 South - right? WRONG.

Who is Stoops sucking off to get the nod on THAT one?

I will not participate in any bowl in any fashion this year. I implore Mack Brown to boycott whatever ShitBowl Texas lands - even if it is Fiesta....

Anyone know if Mack reads my blog?

HOOK EM HORNS ! ! !

TiVO Turmoil

2008-12-02T16:27:00.003-05:00

Last night was tough. At 8pm and at 8:30pm, we had to choose which two of three to Tivo...

1. Big Bang Theory / How I met your mother
2. Chuck
3. Shrek Christmas / Grinch

#1 lost. Tough decision, but it had to be made. In these trying times, decisive leadership has a high price, but worth the cost.

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now THAT's COMEDY

2008-11-29T07:52:00.002-05:00

I haven't laughed so hard in a LONG time...

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slowing down

2008-11-24T07:45:00.004-05:00

Probably not much to say over then next month or so. Happy Holidays - no F that... MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone. If you object to my use of the word Christmas, frack off and die.

How's that for Christmas cheer?

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Flu shots

2008-11-21T11:48:00.000-05:00

So about a month ago, I got a flu shot. What do I have now? The flu. A $20 injection for nothing.

Along with all of the other crap going on right now... it definitely sucks to be sick.

Couldn't have said it better...

2008-11-18T09:01:00.005-05:00

I have been meaning to post this. This is a friend's wife's blog, and I am struck by how this posting sums it up exactly.

Hopefully, I am not imposing by linking... CLICK HERE

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3!!

2008-11-18T08:51:00.003-05:00

Three time's a charm... The 48 team wins its' third in a row. On to #4...

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up side to a down turn

2008-11-08T04:32:00.003-05:00

well....

2008-11-05T07:47:00.004-05:00

That didn't go as well as I had dared hope.

I sincerely hope for the sake of us all that this President-Elect can live up to the hype. The campaign is over, the ballots cast - now it's time to deliver.

This new Socialistic agenda has NEVER worked - anywhere, and I really hope - for my kids' sake - that it never comes completely to fruition.

I believe that Obama believes he is doing what's best. I believe McCain is doing what he believes is best.

Perhaps better than afraid, those of us who are - would be better served - and would better serve our Country by being diligent.

Country First...

2008-11-04T18:30:00.005-05:00

As I sit here watching hope fade, I find myself strategizing to find a way to have only $249,999.98 in income next year.

I can't wait to see the agenda for the next four filibuster-proof years:

1. Continue nationalization of our economic system. (this lets 'em see everything you own - as if they can't already)
2. Introduction of the "buy a gallon, donate two gallons" program for everyone that has a car that is incapable of sustaining less than 48 miles per gallon. This will provide fuel for the poor from the rich bastards in this country. You know who you are... you all make more than $6.25 per hour.
3. Nationalize GM, Chrysler and Ford. New name: Pelosi's New Deals MotorCarriage
4. Unilateral talks with Iran and N Korea. I say unilateral, because we will be there talking, they will be there laughing.
5. Nationalize Oracle. This way, the mandatory "pay for the poor" programs can be put into place. You won't even see it come out of your paycheck.
6. Repeal employer paid healthcare and provide free healthcare for everyone that makes less than $9,473 (gross) per annum.
7. The bright side: Exxon will have more tax breaks.

Thank God the Socialists -er- Democrats will own the Exec, Legislative AND Judicial branches. Let's hope a miracle comes, otherwise "In God We Trust" will be found only in old history books.

nothing to see here...

2008-11-03T17:09:00.002-05:00

Not much to say...

1. Phillies won and Philadelphia is still standing. Congratulations on both.
2. Cowboys are sucking wind. The perils of a "team" of superstars all pursuing individual agendas have come to fruition.
3. Jimmie is still over 100 points ahead of the rest... edge of seat races, the next two will be... (Yoda)
4. That's about it. See? move along... show's over.

congratulations

2008-10-31T07:27:00.001-04:00

Congrats Philly. You guys deserve it. It's been a long ass time coming. Please don't wreck your city today.

27 to go

2008-10-27T18:57:00.006-04:00

Only 27 outs left. 27 outs until I have SO MUCH FREAKING MONEY - actually, less than $1k - but who in their right mind would bet lots on ANY Philadelphia sports franchise? What's it been - 25 years??? 27 outs from now, I can go get that TiVO back.

Marky Mark would be so proud. Earlier this year, I walked into the Sports book in the Bellagio and dropped $100 on the Phillies to win the series. Another $100 on two slips for the NLCS, and I was good to go. Back in March, that was throwaway money. Now, it's paying off. Who'da thunk it?

All I can say is GO PHILS. Mr. Hamels... BRING THAT SMOKE baby. 27 to go. And no, I won't split my massive winnings with you.

TiVO Turmoil

2008-10-25T20:30:00.002-04:00

OK, so TiVO rocks, right? Comcast is a down-home, local small business that cares about its' customers, right?

OK... catch your breath. I know that was funny. They SUCK. The cable service is great. The cable boxes are OK - but the UI sucks, so, enter my shiny new TiVO HD XL. For $1000 you too can have one. That includes the lifetime subscription by the way.

Enter the beast from Philadelphia. These frackers want $39 EACH to come out and install two cable cards into my TiVO. $80 for 5 minutes of work. They won't ship them to me pre-authorized. They won't allow me to install them - even though I am eminently more qualified than they are to do so.

The final blow: They want me to keep paying the $13.95 per month because I still have HD DVR service - even though it's not theirs.

Nice.

DirecTV sucks, DISH sucks, UVerse - well, let's not even go there, Comcast sucks. Maybe I will cancel everything and go live in a cave with an AppleTV.

The TiVO went back today :-(

Phoenix

2008-10-22T22:05:00.001-04:00

well, I am in Phoenix - watching the Phils... it's 10:05 Chris time, and 7:05 Phoenix time. I am not sure I am going to make it to the 7th inning stretch...

GO PHILS!

now THAT's....

2008-10-22T06:52:00.001-04:00

... comedy...

In case you live under a rock and haven't seen this yet...

play ball...

2008-10-17T10:57:00.002-04:00

Well, they made it to the Show. Awesome job.

Go Phils....

Let's not take this one to game 7 and choke in the 7th with a 14 run lead, shall we?

screwed

2008-10-14T08:59:00.005-04:00

Not that I doubt Mr. Johnson's abilities, nor do I question the big shiny ring that he, alone - amongst all of the Cowboys (except for Jerry) holds - but he is SCREWED. He last started 2 years ago... (??)... Ugh. That line couldn't stop a middle school defense. Romo had been hurried, sacked and pressured non-stop for the past three games. What would Donovan do?

Don't get me wrong. I will never turn tail on the 'boys, but this team needs some STRONG leadership in the discipline department. The front line is simply not doing their jobs, and the secondary just looks tired. Wade may not be the right man for the job. This "superstar" instead of super team crap would never fly with Jimmy at the helm.

My final thought - Special Teams... holy sh*t. Tony Curtis should be cut. Now. There's NO excuse for making the same BASIC mistake twice in one game. He had one guy to cover, and that blown coverage cost McBriar his season. Curtis has to go - if for no other reason than to send a message - do your job or you're gone. Jerry - when you read this - do it.

In deference to Pinhead's comment, no - I don't want Mr. Tummy Ache. I doubt T.O. has his BFF ring anymore.

it was the best of weekends... it was the worst...

2008-10-12T19:44:00.006-04:00

Holy crap. What a weekend....

First, the Texans beat Oklahoma. Awesome! Tony Stewart is taken out by speeding on pit road. Awesome. Burton wins, JJ is 6th - Burton takes second in the points, JJ stays on top by 69 points. Eh...

The Eagles win. Crap. The Cowboys lose. Sh*t. I have NOTHING whatsoever to say except good job Philly and would SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ROMO SOME PROTECTION? Gawd!!! The Cardinals earned that one - every last bit of it. Like I said, I've got nothing. Offensive line SUCKED ASS.

Now, the Phillies need to win tonight and tomorrow - and take the NL.

Twinadoes and Halloween...

2008-10-10T16:58:00.001-04:00

Sam HATES this skeleton thing we have, and Alex LOVES it. Watch...

RAIN! and Tyler's views on the world

2008-10-09T07:53:00.004-04:00

2 days in a row. Whatever shall we do with ALL this water??? I have an idea... let's distill it and burn it in my republicanmobile.

I really thought Tyler was starting to think rationally about what the bushies had done to all of us - and then I read this. I agree with you Ty on many things (including your Hannity-esque view of many things)... I also must say... I am very proud of your gas guzzling purchase of late. However, I don't agree that McPalin has anything better for us than O'Biden.

These two parties have wrecked us all - and all they want to do is attack each other now. It's time to bring back the Whigs and Tories. Either that, or we should all move to New Zealand. I wonder if they'll let me bring my Denali?

blessed heartbreak...

2008-10-06T18:01:00.005-04:00

I won't gloat. I don't need to. Walk with me a moment, won't you?

1. I TOLD YOU that fatso would kill Westbrook. More touches for Bucky or Reggie? How has THAT worked out so far? 36 and 5 are your entire O, and you have to hope that 5 doesn't get another tummy ache.....
2. ONE touchdown with as much offense you had? Gawd - the Redskins couldn't have handed you any more of a gift. Hey fatso - your play calling SUCKS. See #3
3. When will you realize that fat Andy has to go?
4. 3rd and 1. Wow. I really am starting to feel sorry for you guys. Wouldn't the easy play have been to have your abnormally large punter take the ball and bulldoze through that mess? Of course, that would have won the game. Why do that??

You know, I expected the meltdown to start after the regular season. I really feel bad for all my buddies who live and die by this team. You all deserve better.

Go Phillies! They're the only hope for you Philly fans. Start wearing your red. I REALLY want the Phils to win it all.

Nice donuts fatty. Now about that 3rd and 1....

fair and balanced...

2008-10-05T09:37:00.004-04:00

In the interest of fair and balanced reporting... what the frack - who am I kidding?

I can't believe the 'boys lost to the redskins... They have exactly ONE weapon, and we can't cover him? Terrene Newman blows one play - and that blown coverage was the game.

Thank God the eaglets lost too. Let's hope Moss proves as slippery as he was for the boys. Here's a tip for the skins D... aim for the boo boo on McNabb's tummy. He'll go down like a sack of bricks.

The Bengals are gonna be tough.

All your money...

2008-10-02T20:36:00.002-04:00

Well, it's good to know that the weak dollar is being handled by Disney with aplomb. I just purchased a Diet Coke (20oz) and it only cost me $3.50.

Unreal. Now who's gouging????

now why....

2008-09-30T20:47:00.004-04:00

... as an advertising agency would you ever use THIS song in a commercial - and who is the dope that approved this ??????

I understand that they left the KEY PARTS of the song out, but who DOESN'T know how this ends? I guess if you want to go to some other world, buy a Lincoln.

state of the union...

2008-09-30T20:45:00.001-04:00

http://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/septembermadnessbig.php

Pretty funny - yet also very sad.

Must TiVO Part 2

2008-09-30T20:28:00.003-04:00

Kind of speaks for itself... (( JAVA WIDGET DELETED ))

Holy CRAP - I put a Terminator - Sarah Chronicles countdown clock from Fox.com on here - and it SLOWED down the page load. I looked at the HTML and it was this big fat juicy Java applet. Yuk.

must see TIVO

2008-09-28T18:09:00.002-04:00

It's been a while since I did my must record...

New shows I really like:

1. Fringe (FOX) - Similar to X-Files
2. Gary Unmarried (CBS) - Hilarious... Jay Mohr

Favorite Returning Standards:
1. The Office - gets funnier every episode
2. ER - getting old - but WOW - what a way to open the last season!
3. Boston Legal - hasn't started new season (at least I dont think it has)
4. Deadliest Catch - Ice Road, Black Gold - all of the imitators are nowhere near as good
4a. After the Catch - MUST watch this if you're into Deadliest Catch
5. Battlestar Galactica - February?? Frack!

All your base....

2008-09-27T07:40:00.011-04:00

Despite my bad attempts at humor, I don't think I have ever been more unsettled at the state of things. Here are the good things happening right now:

1. My family

Here are the bad things:

1. George Bush. (period)
2. A war we can't afford with no goal, and no strategy. Lots of tactic, no strategy.
3. Gas prices are NOT reflective of cost to produce, yet the government does nothing. "Free market" my ass.
4. Can't find gas in Georgia, NC, SC, yet the government does nothing (in fact, our idiot republican governor decided he'd done his part by sending the EPA a letter too late - then jets off to Europe.)
5. $700bln
6. Corporations absolutely decimating people's lives (see #2,3,4,5) and not being held accountable
7. Taxes going up - no matter which idiot we elect (really, it won't be US that elects... you do know that, right?)
8. These two clowns and the Alaska sideshow are the BEST these a$$hole parties have? Are you KIDDING me?

I have never been so disillusioned with the lack of caring for taxpayers - ALL of them - middle, lower, upper class - and the absolute disregard for the citizens of this country. Case(s) in point:

1. New Orleans / Mississippi anyone?
2. Galveston
3. Southeast states gas supply (2 weeks and counting) - if you think it's no big deal - no joking - 9 out of 10 of the gas stations closest to us are closed. They can't get gas. The Shell (company owned - 20 pumps) gets 9,000 gallons every 3 days if they're lucky, and it's gone within an HOUR. Forget premium or mid-grade. Regular is all they will deliver, and it's probably 1/2 water.
4. $700bln

The most amazing part are the comments "This is America. It's not supposed to happen here." This has ALL happened before. Look at the Soviet Union in the 80's. That empire was crumbling, and if you study the fall of the Soviet Union, you may see AMAZING parallels to what's happening here, now.

Is Bush so pissed off about his 30% approval rating that he's taking us all to hell with him? Give me Clinton and his cigar / fat slob fetish any day over this idiot who can't even pronounce the damn word after 8 years with his finger on the newculer button.

I need out of this funk. Dear W - feel free to do something about the above. Anything?

All your base are belong to us. Prepare to make your time. (inside the inside joke)

tweet tweet

2008-09-27T06:38:00.004-04:00

I am on twitter now. Not sure if I will keep up with it, but I have unlimited texting on my cell phone, and since my mobile supplier (you probably know them - I worked there once upon a time) charges me for unlimited text, I plan to test the limits of the unlimited...

Not really - I just want to see if anyone is interested in where I am and what I am doing. I am guessing "no".

refine this

2008-09-25T18:53:00.006-04:00

We live in North Georgia. It has taken this long to occur to me that this area is the foundation for such literary genius as the Dukes of Hazzard.

There are probably 15 million mini-refineries (round these parts theys call em stills) in my county alone. All we have to do is get oil to them. Of course, you'll have to watch for this while floating the barges up the Cahulawassee River. (Click the link stupid. It will explain everything)

Come on... the pollution is dropping to unacceptably low levels. I have solved half of the problem - now it's up to Exxon.

Get us the crude baby.

We're SAVED

2008-09-25T15:22:00.007-04:00

Good thing the gov'ment is on it. We now have permission to buy dirty gas in Atlanta. What a panacea!

Problem is, we don't have dirty gas, clean gas, gas with water, gas with strawberry syrup, nothing. If I could drop a fracking Alka-Seltzer into a cup and make it work - I would. I overheard a comment that "at least we don't run our cars on water". Well... even at $18 a gallon (which is what it would cost if Exxon sold water) - I can buy water.

This is my Denali's favorite watering hole, 15 minutes after the tanker left....

I need to go buy Exxon stock I guess before it's $24,000 per share.

We're all just Man Animals....

2008-09-24T09:28:00.007-04:00

We are devolving. Fist fights at gas lines in Atlanta... So - we're fighting a war over oil (oh wait - it's the war against terror)... and now fighting each other for gas. We will soon be enslaved by an advanced alien race and we deserve it.

We're already slaves of the governemnt and oil industry... If you think we're not - try driving anywhere - and try NOT paying your taxes.

Welcome to battlefield earth...

John Travolta for President (but only if he wears that cool outfit at the inauguration).

it's on....

2008-09-24T07:59:00.003-04:00

Note to the executives running the oil companies:

Get your trucks, rigs, ships, whatever you have on the coast. Wednesday morning, I expect to see so many damn rigs off of the Atlantic coast that I can see them from Atlanta.

I also expect to see a 50% depreciation in the housing that offer "ocean views" in California due to the new, improved "Derrick View" offered by $.50 gas.

DRILL BABY DRILL.

That is all.

beer for my horses... Sorry - no gas.

2008-09-23T09:16:00.005-04:00

It seems appropriate that Toby Keith was just in town, because I really need beer for my horses. I have 400 snarlin horses under the hood of my 8000 pound Exxon Compliant Republican Approved vehicle, and they are THIRSTY.

Out of 8 gas stations I went to last night, ONE had gas. There were 12 (I counted them) cars in front of me. This particular gas station had 87 unleaded only, and it was $4.09 a gallon. There are 8 pumps, and every one had at least 6 cars waiting for it. I spent $80 on crap gas.

Evidently, the issue has something to do with the low sulphur stuff we use here as a result of some EPA crap that we idle too much while sitting in traffic on interstates. Wait - don't the feds run.... never mind. So, the feds - once again - cause a second drought. It started with the lake, and now the feds are restricting my God given right to spew hydrocarbons into the air with my Denali.

For the people, right? Wasn't that what they promised us?

E-A-G-L-O-S-E-R-S

2008-09-23T09:11:00.002-04:00

Westbrook day to day... Let him play Sunday. That will seal the bird's fate for the year.

Fat Andy is going to hang his hat on a hurt player, probably destroy one of the NFL's best RB's careers - all so he can win Sunday night.

Go baby go. Or is it Drill baby Drill...

ramblin wreck

2008-09-21T07:53:00.005-04:00

No - NOT alliteration to any particular university. More like my mental state when dealing with the twinadoes and their brother.

From the Bakugan Chronicles...

eBay had 'em, no one else did. Target, WalMart, younameit toys - EVERYONE is consistently sold out of these stupid things. And - of course - my kids MUST have them. The best part? They are about 1/2mm around. So, some idiot in some far eastern place comes up with these "battle bot" like things, makes them pop open when they touch a metal object (magnets inside) and sells the rough equivalent of every cheerio ever eaten. So, naturally, my kids have to have them.

After roughly a month of searching, we gave up and went to the House that Meg built. We found a seller that had good feedback and ordered a six-pack for $30 with free shipping. The "free" part should have clued me in. A month later, (keeping track? it's now two months since the "I MUST HAVE THESE..." discussion) - and several lame excuses from the seller - and they arrived Friday. I think we can find two of them at this point. For reference - it's Sunday morning. I give the two of six until lunchtime today - and they will be gone.

From the Dog Chronicles...

We're picking up a dog today. At least, I think we are. We have had such success with the sixteen dogs we have tried in this house, that we all agree that it's time to try again. Yeah - that's it. We all agree. Yup. 100%. All of us. Even me. Yeah - ok. Right. Uh huh. Me too.

Update 9/23: Here is the devil dog...

From the "Let's Play with Water" Chronicles...

Do I even have to spell this one out for you? Yesterday, around 9am... twinadoes and brother decide it may be fun to fill up a plastic terrarium with water and throw a toy shark in it. Not a bad idea - except the executioners of this project are 5 and they are upstairs - NOT outside. After about 3 hours of crying and screaming and general whining, I go upstairs and make them clean it up. Fast forward to 7pm. GOTO "Do I"... Replace 9am with 7pm. Starting to paint the picture yet?

See what I mean? It's good to be me.

At least the 48 is tied for the top of the Chase.

where's mine?

2008-09-19T08:57:00.003-04:00

OK, I am going to run out with my AMEX, MasterCard, VISA and anything else I can find. I am going to go buy really stupid stuff on credit. I am going to then mark-to-market all of that stupid stuff, because as everyone knows, you can't sell stuff for more than you bought it - especially when there's no market for it. THEN - I am going to go to my business friendly republican and beg for money. And I'll get it. The best part? I am being paid $ Millions to do all of this.

Who am I?

Somewhat rhetorical question - since I do buy lots of stupid stuff. The difference between me and Wall Street is that I pay cash for my stupid stuff. Alot of it is wasted - but that only affects me. Also - if I did all of the above, and leverage myself to the hilt - the government wouldn't bail me out - they need my tax money to bail out all of the campaign contributors. And when I do make decisions to leverage an asset against a loan, I pay the bills. I don't have a house I can't afford. I don't have an ARM. And yet, I get to pay for those idiots that did those stupid things. All to keep "the financial system from collapsing" (read: Keep the politicians friends friendly). Neither Obama nor McCain have any good answers. They're flopping on this back & forth like a just-caught bluefish.

Unbelievable. We are becoming financially socialistic - but only for the rich. Let them fail. It actually would impact my family directly if AIG disappeared, but we would get through it. Hell - if we survived Carly and her platinum plated jets and workout rooms in the hotels - we can certainly survive this.

booyah!

2008-09-16T08:29:00.002-04:00

You Eaglet fans thought you had it. HA.

Honestly, that was one of the BEST football games I have ever seen. The end zone dance with the ball on the 2 yard line was special. What made it even better is that fat andy and his girls are going home LOSERS...

The rematch promises to be good. By then, the boys will have clinched the division.

jut another day?

2008-09-11T09:19:00.002-04:00

Don't forget those lost - and those continuing to sacrifice all in the name of big oil. Seriously - 9/11 has gone too far out of people's memory. I turned on the news this morning, and the top story was some shooting - 9/11 and the memory of those who died was the 6th story - 12 minutes into the newscast. Even then, it was more about "why don't we have a 9/11 memorial in NYC and the delay in rebuilding"...

It's a real shame that we are more worried about that crap than focusing on the families - and even then - 12 minutes a year.

Shame on us.

whiner

2008-09-09T08:46:00.003-04:00

Some whiny c*nt from TX said my new look was off-putting... whatever the hell THAT means. He was probably trying to read it while staring out the window of Starbucks lovingly at his shiny convertible and sipping his half-caf triple Cinnamon Dolce Latte with a sprinkle of nutmeg and just a pinch of peppermint and skim whipped cream. Ostentatious prick.

Anyway... truth be told - I kind of agree. This look is easier to read. Luv ya Tib...

Speaking of which - is Tib the Machine still alive? Is the Bitchin3000 still running?

you would be so proud...

2008-09-08T20:10:00.002-04:00

I went to Fry's today - spent nothing. In fact, I haven't spent any money on anything in quote a while (at least a week). Just thought you should know...

TiVO little... TiVO late

2008-09-05T16:14:00.001-04:00

I can't believe it. Those muther frakkers at DirecTV have announced that they will be rolling out TiVO HD-DVR's.

Damn them.... damn them to HELLLLLLLLLLLLL........

CRY HAVOC.....

2008-09-05T15:17:00.004-04:00

Sarah Palin? Must be nice to be a substance free attack dog. Before you extol the virtues of your record, perhaps a bit of memory recall? Opposed the Bridge to Nowhere? You mean the one you supported when you ran for governer - then "unsupported" after being elected - and the funds were withdrawn? THAT Bridge to nowhere? And what - exactly - would that have to do with running the free world? What's the plan? Is it simply being a fresh face????

Not that Obama has any redeeming qualities - but at least he has a plan. Sure, that plan is to rid me of all of my excess money, but hey - it's a plan.

"Drill Baby Drill" hardly counts as a plan. And oh - by the way - aren't YOU the party that has been here for the past 8 years? And YOU want to be a change agent? Who are you kidding??? McCain is too far middle to make anyone happy. The Congress hates him because he's a Republican. The right hates him because he's not conservative enough. The left hates him because they hate everybody. The good news is - at least the Hockey Mom vote is in the bag.

For the first time in my voting life, I am party free. Dems are putting up a celebrity with no experience leading anything, and Repubs are just plain LOST.

It's frakkin' dangerous putting politics on here, but let slip the dogs.....

Be gone...

2008-09-05T15:08:00.004-04:00

I finally got around to getting rid of the ads. They were stupid and none of you frakkers ever clicked on them, so I didn't make any money on them. Thanks.

Last time I checked, I had $ .0000173762 in my adsense account, so we can send that to some hyperinflated country so it can be worth 18 billion rupees or something.

Also, changed the look - I think I like this one. If you don't, frack off.

The cool part - I added a widget that shows the weather where I am. The best part is, it takes 12 hours to load... Enjoy.

Speeds and Feeds

2008-08-31T07:57:00.001-04:00

Anyone who doesn't believe cable modems are shared bandwidth... look what happens at 7:56am on a Sunday...

Speeds and Feeds

2008-08-30T14:23:00.002-04:00

This is while the lovely spouse was on the phone. Not bad, considering that we're running through the Vonage router that has the ability to choke internet traffic.

Premium Tech Part 2

2008-08-30T13:46:00.003-04:00

Well... I just have to accept that even excellent technology is fallible. Everything is subject to failure. The important part is how does the company respond?

1. Apple. Unbelievable service. You would think I had bought a $300k Bentley. I went to the genius bar, and the genius tried to turn the machine on. I sat there as she (loosely defined to be sure) pushed the power button; removed the battery, plugged it in and pushed the power button; replaced the (dead) battery, unplugged it and pushed the power button... --- are you sensing a trend here?---

Anyway - I am sure that the Genius was following basic troubleshooting steps as prescribed by Apple, despite my assurances that I had, indeed tried all of that.

Diagnosis: "Yup - it's dead". Thanks.

Long story short, Apple has a policy that if you buy from applestore.com, you can't exchange an item at a retail store. I don't get that at all... but... I was completely pissed by that.

Now for the Bentley reference: After some management intervention (by the way - this manager was born 12 years ago), Apple caved - and I got a new shiny working MacBook Pro. This guy went to bat for me, and was on the phone with various people for almost an HOUR. The store was teeming with people that had money to spend, that weren't some big fat pain in the ass (me) telling the "genius" that "for the money I spent on this MacBook I could have had 3 DELL laptops - in case TWO of them broke". Long story short - They gave me a brand new one and took back the broken one.

Here's the good part... the software I used to back up my "old" MacBook is called Time Machine. it backs up changes to the file systems whenever I plug in my TM USB hard drive - OR whenever I am in range of the Time Capsule (that I haven't bought yet). Time Machine allowed me to recover all of my stuff - down to my Firefox cookies. Completely seamless. Basically, when you start this thing up, it asks if you have a Time Machine image. Answer 'yes' and your job is done. Apple has solved the user experience problem. Period. This OS has it all... terminal emulation if you want to dig into UNIX and the UI is so good - you never have to if you don't want to or don't know how.

2. Best Buy. When we moved here, we bought $4k worth of washer and dryer and $2k worth of refrigerator. The washer and ice maker on the fridge died simultaneously. At the same time, one of our TV's developed this really cool greenish yellowish stripe about 3" wide across the top. We have extended warranties from Best Buy on all of these items, and call I did...

The worst part of this experience was the hold times. Very bad - I am a bit surprised. Also, NO hold music / message / anything - so you don't really know if you're holding or just sitting there looking stupid while not connected to anything. Anyway, we got through all of that - and the last of the Best Buy guys just left.

As a technology person, it's a bit embarrasing to have a "Geek Squad" van parked in front of my house (both Thursday for the TV and today for the appliances) for any length of time, but for the prices they quoted for repairs (vs the money we spent on the extended warranties), I will take it. The TV needed a completely new optics module. This is a Sony Bravia 3LCD projector, and the "3LCD" part of that name went bad. They also replaced the bulb, cleaned the mirror, replaced the air filter and one of the fans. This TV didn't have this good a picture when it was brand new!

The washer's thermostat went bad, and the guy basically disassembled the whole thing to replace the part. LG's human factors people need to pay attention. It was a $7 part, and $150 in labor to replace it. Finally, the ice maker was replaced, and all is well. Nothing serious.

Anyway - that's my technology update. Here's my overall temperature:

- Comcast: Happy with the picture quality and internet speed. Grade: B (only because customer support kind of sucks)
- Best Buy: Great service once we got through. Easy to schedule repairs, and top notch people showed up to fix our stuff. Makes me rethink the "TigerDirect.com is cheaper so why shop at Best Buy? Grade: A-
- Apple Store (retail): These people bent over backward to get around an Apple procedural issue to get me functional again. Awesome. Grade: A+
- Applestore.com: These people need to understand that, despite the limit of human interaction being through their wireless Plantronics headsets, they still need to provide customer service. Apple is a premium brand, and these idiots are seriously able to damage that brand. Apple - wake up. Grade: D
- Sony: Your top of the line TV from 2 years ago should last more than 2 years. This will be my last Sony. Grade: F
- LG: You need to pay more attention to serviceability. Still love those machines though. Grade: C

Finis.

Premium tech

2008-08-28T08:56:00.005-04:00

Well, paying a premium for the "best" technology has bitten me again. It all started in 1999 with my Lincoln Navigator (crap), 2001 with the BMW (crap), 2006 with DirecTV HD DVR's (crap), and now my MacBook Pro.

It started yesterday morning at Starbucks when I noticed that my battery wasn't charging. It also alarmed me that despite having the AC adapter plugged in, the battery levels were dropping. I stopped by my local Apple Store, with the hopes that maybe someone could look at it. Lucky for me, the first appointment is Friday! YAY! I just moved all of my data to a machine that I can't use...

To make matters worse, we are EXTREMELY busy - and I have a bunch of new data that didn't make it to my Time Machine. I hastilly copied what I could identify as new to a USB key - but don't think I got it all.

Service? Holy crap - I REALLY hope Apple isn't like the rest of these idiotic moves I made. My wife just laughed at me. I have been talking about getting a Mac for almost a year - I get one - and 2 months later, it's dead.

Nice.

More to follow - hopefully better news

DirecThief - Revenge of the Jedi

2008-08-24T19:57:00.004-04:00

So... on with the DirecTV saga. It really SUCKS ASS to be posting about them because it causes a Google ad to pop up next to the posting. Ironic huh? Let's try this....

CABLE TV CABLE TV CABLE TV CABLE TV COMCAST COMCAST COMCAST COMCAST

Let's see how good Google REALLY is...

Anyway... I spent an hour on the phone with some dude in a call center in Kansas somewhere. I am imagining this hayseed coming in off the combine, initializing his 128kbps satellite modem, and logging in to DirecTV's system and then logging in to his virtual IP phone. He answers the phone in a very nice way (backstory is in a previous post - and how we got HERE is from a voice mail - not too exciting).

Long story short, I closed with "I have a lawyer on permanent retention through a legal plan as part of my employee benefits. He's free for me. You will either waive the $440 early termination fee, and refund the money I spent on the DVR's, or you will pay YOUR lawyers alot more than that to answer a demand letter - and then you will refund me my money plus whatever other damages I can claim. (At this point, I am thinking unspecified mental anguish, something having to do with fraudulent something or other, and perhaps a bit of pain and suffering.) At the end of the day, you're going to pay me, so just do it." We argued a bit - he made some lame ass offer to reduce the termination fee by $200; I almost hung up on him... but at the end of the day... I got my term fee waived and got mah money back BABY. How you like me now bitches?

DirecTV SUCKS. Stay away.

Overheard...

2008-08-24T16:59:00.002-04:00

"Michael Waltrip is the worst driver in NASCAR. Period. I can't believe NAPA re-signed (sic)"...

- Clint Bowyer (07) August 23, 2008 - from Bristol Motor Speedway after MW wrecked the 5 car, and caused a huge wreck.

Not going to debate the merits of the comment... I like Mikey. He can't drive for crap but he's probably the nicest guy in all of NASCAR. Personally - I think it was Casey Mears' spotters' fault.

DirecThief

2008-08-19T13:15:00.003-04:00

So - those f*cktards at DirecTV (you remember them - they can't keep their DVR's running long enough to watch / record a half hour show?) are at it again. After terminating my account with them, they now want to charge me for NOT doing business with them.

DTV wants me to pay them $440 for early termination of my account. SWEET. Those of you who know me - know I LOVE a fight.

Anyone have suggestions as to what I can do to further browbeat these idiots? Customer dis-service, DVR's that don't work, signal that dissapears if a fly lands on the dish? What was I thinking?

Letters to the Better Business Bureau, the president of DTV and others have been sent. I will keep you posted - even if I lose and wind up paying it.

Technology updates

2008-08-13T08:26:00.003-04:00

1. Comcast: Still blisteringly fast Internet, although there seems to be a bit of YMMV going on...

Not so happy with the user interface on the HD-DVR, but - you can either have a nice UI and NOT work (DirecTV), or have a shit UI and work well (Comcast so far). One additional note: customer service has definitely improved from my last foray into Comcast services.

2. Vonage: Phone number still hasn't transferred. No one can call our number - either on the AT&T side or the Vonage side. That's pretty frustrating... supposed to be done by Friday.

3. Mac: still loving this thing. Amazed that I have had Windows running on Fusion and MacOS - and doing some really cool stuff... I haven't had to reboot this thing yet. Amazingly enough (and perhaps because I am only doing very rudimentary stuff with it), the Windows XP image seems to be more stable (if that's possible) within Fusion. Perhaps it's the Dell laptop? Maybe my friends in Houston have a comment on that...

Return of the Jedi?

2008-08-11T16:19:00.001-04:00

The original blogger - in our world anyway - (1Uc) needs to come back. The world just can't get by without his unique take on the world.

PLEASE?

Consolidation

2008-08-06T08:05:00.003-04:00

Well, I have finally had it with DirecTV. The two DVR's got software updates recently. A bit of background...

We ordered DTV in August 2006 with two HD-DVR's. These are not inexpensive devices. We don't own them, and had to pay $300 each for them - PLUS an ongoing monthly maintenance charge of $5.99. That is NOT the programming charge - that's another $5.99.

We have had VERY good signal quality with DTV - in fact, it rarely goes out in heavy rain. However, these DVR's and the idiots that write the software have completely wrecked it for me. I am on my 4th - that's right - unit in the Family Room, and 2nd in the Master bedroom. The improvements they have made to these things over time include a disassociation of video and audio (the lips move and the sound comes a full second later), inconsistent playout of channels or recordings (sometimes stuff records - sometimes stuff just consumes an hour of space but doesn't record), and much more fun times... The best part is when the units lock up and even removing the power doesn't get them to come back.

After some careful analysis (adding one bill to another), I determined that we were paying nearly $300 for television and communications. I have to say - my DSL has been rock solid. No issues whatsoever. My only complaint is that Comcast has surpassed them in speed by close to 2x. DSL has stood still, Comcast is now offering 16 megabits per second. Hard to say no to that - particularly when they are the same price.

I will also detail my simplicity initiative in a post to follow - but - I puled the trigger. Out with AT&T and DirecTV, in with Comcast. They have no viable competition here when it comes to bundling services and making it cost effective. Even after the 12 month special deal expires, my total bill for TV and communications will be over $100 less than I was paying AT&T and DirecTV.

Hopefuly it all works. Internet is faster - although not 16mbps... If you're interested, results are here:

OK. Enough for now. Updates to follow...